tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
