But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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