I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
