i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
