I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
