32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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