dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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