Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
