cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
