wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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