will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
PANTIES FOUND
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