Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize