Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
