We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
