I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So much Jack, so little girl.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
