Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
