he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
