PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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