I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
try to milk me bitch
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