four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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