I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
