she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
