im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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