I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Umm I'm too high to move.
I think my vagina is haunted
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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