Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
