i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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