I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize