After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize