She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
