Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Buhtt sex?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
