no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
