Your tits are I can't wait for
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant