They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.