Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered