I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?