he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
