Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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