But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
