okay pat passed out under dana's car
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize