Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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