is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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