Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
