Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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