If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
