I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize