Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would fuck him just for his dog
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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