We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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