Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I deserve this hangover.
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