he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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