im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
