All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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