he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
