you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hippo gnu deer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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