p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
