Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
