How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
