Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
