Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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