So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
